Europa Universalis IV - Christmas Rant

So welcome to my annual Christmas Eve rant for 2013. This year is special as this will be the post that will launch my new blog as well, so I guess that's something to end this year. It will also be a different sort of rant, because if I tried to use a hugely cynical humour for this game, I would just sound like Charlie Brooker if he'd just been hit by a van, causing a coma. Anyway, now to start the rant, have a guess what it is. Don't you dare peak at the title

Europa Universalis IV

2013 has been a very lacklustre year for gaming, while simultaneously being quite a good year for progress as well, depending on how you look at it. We've had two new consoles, which, after 7 years on the previous generation, are a welcome addition for console gamers, however my interest in the new consoles is about equivalent to my interest in antique concrete collections, especially as it's scientifically proven fact that there have been more mass shootings committed by Stephen Hawking than there are worthwhile games to play on these new consoles.

It is because of the lack of games that interest me (outside of Indie games) this year that allowed me to almost solely play Paradox Development Studio grand strategy games, (and  just a smidge of Civilisation V, but quiet about that) starting with the still excellent, and constantly improving Crusader Kings 2. Crusader Kings 2 had ever more DLC released this year, including The Old Gods DLC, which added so much to the game it's like the game is now being held in place by unfortunate Swedish workers to stop it from simply exploding, the main feature of this being that it sends you back in time, like you're some sort of child murdering time lord Viking, which would really improve Doctor Who.

The other Paradox game however, is surprisingly the one that I've said this Christmas Eve rant will be about, so we're finally going to talk about that after so much stuffing it's like a Christmas Turkey in a weird pornography. That game, is Europa Universalis IV. Weirdly I've never been into the Europa Universalis series before, even though the third as been seen as the easiest Grand Strategy to start off on before Crusader Kings 2 came out, I just didn't like it, it never seemed as smooth an experience as Victoria 2, granted I know people who hate this for even more irrational reasons. It is for this reason that while I knew Europa Universalis IV would be a good game, I didn't think I would enjoy it as much as the world's premier family murdering simulator, Barbie Dreamhouse Party... I mean Crusader Kings 2.

Boy how wrong was I though. This game is probably one of the best games I've played this year. It seemed to have taken the best parts of the Paradox Grand Strategy games and blended them all into one, massive game. And I mean massive, this game includes a time of so much progress in human history in so much detail, I wouldn't be surprised if eventually you could just research space ships, not that you need too, as the game world, like most of the main Paradox titles, spans the entire globe.

That world really does feel enormous, mainly because of the Terra Incognito effect carried over from the previous Europa Universalis games. Terra Incognito is the effect that covers the entire of the undiscovered world, meaning that you can only see anything that has been discovered so far, and it really does give the effect of being an insular European nation, slowly uncovering the entire globe and the world becoming larger and larger as you do this. If you want examples of how large this is, I've played hours of Europa Universalis IV with my Japanese Empire (as well as other games, such as with the Byzantines), yet I'm only just discovering most of the world. The Americas? Never heard of them. Europe? Rumours come in from traders in China, but I've never experienced it myself. Australia? When we've finished our northern territorial ambitions, we'll sail even more south to find the long lost continent. See, my Empire covers an entire side of the Pacific, from the east coast of Russia down to Papua New Guinea, yet so much of the world is  unknown. Soon I hope to cross over into Alaska and meet the Europeans in the middle of North America.

That little tale brings me onto another point of the game. It's got me interested in other peoples experiences in games. I could talk for literally minutes about how their game is going, what they have done differently to me and what the next plans they have are. Planning out Empires like this just feels so good and intriguing, like I'm some sort of Colonial leader, without the real genocide and slavery.

The game is so open, and you can do so many different things in it, that these conversations feel so worthwhile and fulfilling. For example as Burgundy, you can become a European power to rival France, or you can give away all but a few of your European territories and become a Dutch Colonial Empire. You could also do neither of these, you non conforming anarchist. What are you going to do next? Bomb a 1900's political leader? You bastard. No game will ever be the same, even if we end up playing the same nation, unless of course you're sat behind me watching me play it while pretending to play it yourself, in which case you have serious problems... And please move away from behind me.

My favourite difference now is how they got rid of the sliders from Europa Universalis III. I hated those sliders, they slide like an ice skater on a gritted road. This time however, it's much different, and all the choices on your nation come down to increasing tech when you get enough points (Admin, Diplo and Military Points.) Increasing the different techs allow the access to many different buildings, units and increases your colonisation range. Increasing your admin techs also allows you to choose ideas at certain specific tech levels, these Ideas help you define your nations role in the world, for example you can choose to be a colonising nation, or a military nation or even a banking nation. Once you have chosen these ideas, you can then advance up them like a tree, unlocking more bonuses for nations of that specific idea, such as getting more colonists. This way of progression works so well.

My main criticism of the game is the trading mechanic. It seems almost pointless, as there are so many ways to get money that are much easier for you to undertake than trying to understand the trading mechanic. This is once factor I think I preferred the third game in, where you had to try and get a monopoly in trading nodes, mainly because it seemed more active, instead of just leaving your merchant somewhere to spend some time fucking prostitutes and taking meth.

Right, the main question is, is it better than Crusader Kings 2, and honestly, my answer is no, I don't think it is. Both are great games, but I just prefer the more role-playing element of Crusader Kings 2, and because of this element, Crusader Kings 2 is still the game I would introduce people to Grand Strategy games with. A game that I can describe as Total War, meets The Sims meets Game of Thrones is just a much easier sell than this, and really quite obviously makes a much more interesting game for me.

This doesn't matter though, as Europa Universalis IV is still a great game, and the two fronted attack of this and Crusader Kings 2, really does make me think that 2013 has been the year of Grand Strategy gaming. It has finally hit the mainstream, which is amazing for a genre that is less accessible than a house at the bottom of a volcano or a Nuns vagina. You get people interested in Crusader Kings 2, and then shove Europa Universalis 4 down their throats. Maybe then they can go to even more complicated games. I really hope Paradox can keep this up for many long years, and I really do feel that they can. Have a merry Christmas.