So welcome
to my annual Christmas Eve rant for 2013. This year is special as this will be
the post that will launch my new blog as well, so I guess that's something to
end this year. It will also be a different sort of rant, because if I tried to
use a hugely cynical humour for this game, I would just sound like Charlie
Brooker if he'd just been hit by a van, causing a coma. Anyway, now to start
the rant, have a guess what it is. Don't you dare peak at the title
Europa Universalis IV
2013 has
been a very lacklustre year for gaming, while simultaneously being quite a good
year for progress as well, depending on how you look at it. We've had two new
consoles, which, after 7 years on the previous generation, are a welcome addition
for console gamers, however my interest in the new consoles is about equivalent
to my interest in antique concrete collections, especially as it's
scientifically proven fact that there have been more mass shootings committed
by Stephen Hawking than there are worthwhile games to play on these new
consoles.
It is
because of the lack of games that interest me (outside of Indie games) this
year that allowed me to almost solely play Paradox Development Studio grand
strategy games, (and just a smidge of
Civilisation V, but quiet about that) starting with the still excellent, and
constantly improving Crusader Kings 2.
Crusader Kings 2 had ever more DLC released this year, including The Old Gods DLC, which added so much to
the game it's like the game is now being held in place by unfortunate Swedish
workers to stop it from simply exploding, the main feature of this being that
it sends you back in time, like you're some sort of child murdering time lord
Viking, which would really improve Doctor Who.
The other
Paradox game however, is surprisingly the one that I've said this Christmas Eve
rant will be about, so we're finally going to talk about that after so much
stuffing it's like a Christmas Turkey in a weird pornography. That game, is Europa Universalis IV. Weirdly I've
never been into the Europa Universalis
series before, even though the third as been seen as the easiest Grand Strategy
to start off on before Crusader Kings 2
came out, I just didn't like it, it never seemed as smooth an experience as Victoria 2, granted I know people who
hate this for even more irrational reasons. It is for this reason that while I
knew Europa Universalis IV would be a
good game, I didn't think I would enjoy it as much as the world's premier
family murdering simulator, Barbie
Dreamhouse Party... I mean Crusader
Kings 2.
Boy how
wrong was I though. This game is probably one of the best games I've played
this year. It seemed to have taken the best parts of the Paradox Grand Strategy
games and blended them all into one, massive game. And I mean massive, this
game includes a time of so much progress in human history in so much detail, I
wouldn't be surprised if eventually you could just research space ships, not
that you need too, as the game world, like most of the main Paradox titles,
spans the entire globe.
That world
really does feel enormous, mainly because of the Terra Incognito effect carried
over from the previous Europa Universalis
games. Terra Incognito is the effect that covers the entire of the undiscovered
world, meaning that you can only see anything that has been discovered so far,
and it really does give the effect of being an insular European nation, slowly
uncovering the entire globe and the world becoming larger and larger as you do
this. If you want examples of how large this is, I've played hours of Europa Universalis IV with my Japanese
Empire (as well as other games, such as with the Byzantines), yet I'm only just
discovering most of the world. The Americas? Never heard of them. Europe?
Rumours come in from traders in China, but I've never experienced it myself.
Australia? When we've finished our northern territorial ambitions, we'll sail
even more south to find the long lost continent. See, my Empire covers an
entire side of the Pacific, from the east coast of Russia down to Papua New Guinea,
yet so much of the world is unknown.
Soon I hope to cross over into Alaska and meet the Europeans in the middle of
North America.
That little
tale brings me onto another point of the game. It's got me interested in other
peoples experiences in games. I could talk for literally minutes about how
their game is going, what they have done differently to me and what the next
plans they have are. Planning out Empires like this just feels so good and
intriguing, like I'm some sort of Colonial leader, without the real genocide
and slavery.
The game is
so open, and you can do so many different things in it, that these
conversations feel so worthwhile and fulfilling. For example as Burgundy, you
can become a European power to rival France, or you can give away all but a few
of your European territories and become a Dutch Colonial Empire. You could also
do neither of these, you non conforming anarchist. What are you going to do
next? Bomb a 1900's political leader? You bastard. No game will ever be the
same, even if we end up playing the same nation, unless of course you're sat
behind me watching me play it while pretending to play it yourself, in which
case you have serious problems... And please move away from behind me.
My favourite
difference now is how they got rid of the sliders from Europa Universalis III. I hated those sliders, they slide like an
ice skater on a gritted road. This time however, it's much different, and all
the choices on your nation come down to increasing tech when you get enough
points (Admin, Diplo and Military Points.) Increasing the different techs allow
the access to many different buildings, units and increases your colonisation
range. Increasing your admin techs also allows you to choose ideas at certain
specific tech levels, these Ideas help you define your nations role in the
world, for example you can choose to be a colonising nation, or a military
nation or even a banking nation. Once you have chosen these ideas, you can then
advance up them like a tree, unlocking more bonuses for nations of that
specific idea, such as getting more colonists. This way of progression works so
well.
My main
criticism of the game is the trading mechanic. It seems almost pointless, as
there are so many ways to get money that are much easier for you to undertake
than trying to understand the trading mechanic. This is once factor I think I
preferred the third game in, where you had to try and get a monopoly in trading
nodes, mainly because it seemed more active, instead of just leaving your
merchant somewhere to spend some time fucking prostitutes and taking meth.
Right, the
main question is, is it better than Crusader
Kings 2, and honestly, my answer is no, I don't think it is. Both are great
games, but I just prefer the more role-playing element of Crusader Kings 2, and because of this element, Crusader Kings 2 is still the game I would introduce people to
Grand Strategy games with. A game that I can describe as Total War, meets The
Sims meets Game of Thrones is just a much easier sell than this, and really
quite obviously makes a much more interesting game for me.
This doesn't
matter though, as Europa Universalis IV
is still a great game, and the two fronted attack of this and Crusader Kings 2, really does make me
think that 2013 has been the year of Grand Strategy gaming. It has finally hit
the mainstream, which is amazing for a genre that is less accessible than a
house at the bottom of a volcano or a Nuns vagina. You get people interested in
Crusader Kings 2, and then shove Europa
Universalis 4 down their throats. Maybe then they can go to even more
complicated games. I really hope Paradox can keep this up for many long years,
and I really do feel that they can. Have a merry Christmas.
